My story with Aya

I was in ICU for about a week.  During that week from hell, I got to know the day nurse fairly well.  She was a pleasant older lady with a ready smile who seemed genuinely concerned about my state of mind as well as my body’s health.  The night shift nurse….what can I say about her that doesn’t make me sound like a love sick kitten?

She was young for a nurse and gorgeous and sexy.   Seriously…I was one ball of hurting male whine, wrapped up in plaster and cloth bandages.  I was hurt both physically and mentally but I could still appreciate beauty when I saw it.

She was pleasant enough in her own way.  Very professional.  Answered my questions, gave me my pain meds when I needed them and chastised me gently when I either waited to long to ask or not long enough.  Even though I was hurting like I was, I still managed to bug her for a phone number which she would politely refuse to give me.  She seemed to find it amusing that I’d ask when I couldn’t even pee without help much less take someone out on a date.  She had a smart mouth on her too and was quick to fire back at me when I made a stupid comment or hit on her.  In a word, she was feisty.

I made the mistake of saying that she looked young for her age which I thought was a compliment until I found at she really WAS young to be a licensed nurse.   She’d graduated from high school at the tender age of 16 with top honors at her school.  She had near perfect recall, performance driven parents and no siblings.  Needless to say, her parents heaped all their dreams onto her shoulders.  She did her four years in three and passed her nurse’s certification test the first time.  She had just turned twenty and had been assigned to the hospital for a little over  nine months.

When I was finally given a semi-private room it was both a happy and a sad occasion.  Happy because I would be going home soon now that I was on the mend.  Sad because I had to say goodbye to Aya.  She worked ICU and I wasn’t going to be one of her patients any more.   When I asked if she would come visit me when she was off, she said it was against hospital policy so I turned on the puppy dog face and she relented, gave me a quick hug goodbye and told me to behave myself.

It was a long time before I saw Aya again.  I stayed in the hospital for another week and then they sent me home.  To say it was a struggle at first is putting it mildly.  Dad was a big help to me until the cast came off my arm.  Michiko helped when she could but she was getting bigger by the day.  Dad told me that he should have been upset about it but he just couldn’t find it in his heart to be mad considering he knew that Hayato loved her and would have married her without a second thought.

During the months that followed, I adjusted to my lack of easy mobility and played the clown to keep everyone’s spirits up…including mine.  At night though I was a mess.  I suffered from nightmares of the accident and when it rained, and it rains a lot here, the nightmares would be worse.  It was probably because I’d get depressed when it rained but I tried to hide it as best I could.  I didn’t want Michiko and dad thinking I’d do something stupid so I smiled and hid as much of my pain as I could.

I hardly went out any more and when I did it was usually to the doctor’s for check ups.  Ichi was born about a month before the cast came off my leg.  I’d never tell him this but he was a cute kid.  He got the best of both his parents and his uncle was mighty proud of him.

My right leg was about half the size of my left from the hip down.  Because of the knee injury, my cast was almost to my hip.  Almost nine months of inactivity had taken it’s toll.  The leg was stiff, weak and would give out on me without much warning.  I was fitted with one of those metal braces that ran just below the knee down to under my foot just so I’d have some extra support to go with my cane.  Helping Michiko with Ichi helped take my mind off of my problems for a while but I felt unattractive, weak and helpless.  In other words…I was feeling sorry for myself.

I think Ichi was about three months old when I was told I’d have to start therapy soon to build up the leg.  I’d pretty much resigned myself to the fact that I would never be whole again when I ran into Aya at the hospital.  I’d just come out of my session when I saw her talking to a group of other nurses.  I had thought about her from time to time, wondered how she was getting on but I didn’t honestly think I’d see her again. I figured she probably didn’t even remember me.   I didn’t want her to see me like I was so I didn’t speak, just turned and started for the door.

I’d just about made my escape when I heard her call my name and cursed the fact that I couldn’t move faster then I had.  I put on my happy face and turned to her.  She stole my breath away.  Her hair was longer then I remembered and it looked like she had gained a half an ounce which rounded her figure out in the best possible way and the smile on her face made the sun look like a slacker.  I suppose I must have had a stupid look on my face because she asked if I was okay.   I assured her that I was and that, yes, I did remember her and yes, I was there for therapy.  I was steadily trying to ease out the door and away from her.  I hadn’t really thought about a woman for months but as soon as I saw her face, the rest of me woke up.  To be honest…it scared the hell out of me.  It wasn’t just the fact that I had a very strong urge to grab her and see if that mouth of hers tasted as good as it looked but that it was more then my libido that was happy to see her. My heart had started beating so hard I could barely hear her over it.  I vaguely remember the conversation.  What I do remember was the doctor who walked up behind her and stood way to close to her for my liking.  I didn’t realize I was glowering at the man until Aya asked me what was wrong.  I made some lame excuse about remembering an engagement and left as fast as my condition would allow but not fast enough to miss the smirk on the doctor’s face before he bent down to whisper something in Aya’s ear that had her doing that giggle that I enjoyed hearing during our week together.

If I’d been depressed before, I was absolutely morbid after that.  The damn woman made it a point to come check on me during my therapy sessions.  We’d laugh,  joke, and trade insults.  When I was feeling sorry for myself, she was there to encourage me.  When I was depressed she would find some way to bring me out of it.  I told her things about Hayato and the accident that I wouldn’t dare tell Michiko.  I came to depend on her being there but without fail that damn doctor would show up and my day would go straight to hell.   She would always leave with him and I knew that there was no way I could compete with a damn doctor, not a grease monkey like me.   It wasn’t long before I started skipping my sessions or changing the time I had them when I could.  I just couldn’t take the thought of those two going out.  “I” wanted her but I wasn’t good enough for her.  I had that whole “she needs a whole man” shit going through my head too.  Michiko told me I was a damn fool and if she was worth me moping over then I should go after her.  I just couldn’t.

The months dragged by.  Ichi got bigger and into everything.  The little brat was walking and talking a little and I’d gotten a job as a mechanic in an auto shop in town.  The owner was getting on in age and was looking for someone to take over for him one day.  It didn’t pay much but the owner let me rent out the whole top floor of the building for cheap.  It had two bedrooms and a small den, a kitchen and living area.  Michiko and Ichi moved in with me and we converted the den into a room for him.   I was still dependent on my cane but I didn’t need to walk around much to slide up under a car or lean over the hood so I didn’t really care.  I hadn’t seen Aya in a couple of months, mainly because I’d pretty much stopped going to therapy.  My mood hadn’t improved much but I put on a good face and people generally left me alone.

It was a month after Ichi’s second birthday that I ran into Aya leaving the hospital after a routine check up.  She was with that asshole doctor but the minute she saw me she gave a little squeal, beamed one of those smiles at me that made my knees weak and took my free hand in hers.  I couldn’t help it.  The devil in me told her that if she’d missed me so much, where was my hug and kiss.  She grinned, gave me a hug that would have cracked my ribs again if they hadn’t mended long ago and then gave me a kiss that was just at the corner of my mouth as if she was aiming for my cheek but missed.  She had pulled on my goatee to get me down closer to her and I told her that pulling on it turned me on.  She gave me a startled look but that smart mouth of hers took over and before I knew it, the flirtatious comments were flying fast and furious between us.  Dr. Asshole didn’t look to amused at the turn of events and commented on my lack of drive to get back into good health.  He happily told her that I’d stopped with my sessions and she turned her considerable verbal talents on me and called me all kinds of a fool for stopping.  I was embarrassed and pissed at her boyfriend for spilling his guts and giving an opinion that no one had asked for.  I was going to tell him a thing or two when she rounded on him.  I don’t think he was expecting the comment to get Aya angry at me AND at him.

She basically told him to fuck off, he didn’t know what he was talking about, that I could do anything I set my mind to do and that maybe what I needed was the right incentive.  Being the asshole that he was, the doctor made a wager.  Now mind you the two of them were talking as if I was no longer there.  He bet that I would still be leaning on my cane with not much improvement after three months.  Aya countered that I’d not need the cane after that time at which point he would stop asking her out and if I did still need the cane, then she would finally go out with him!  Whoa ho!  So they weren’t dating after all!   It dawned on me that since I was the object of the bet, I should get something out it and I said so.  Aya looked at me, thought about it, smiled that smile I would learn meant trouble of a good kind, and asked me what I wanted.

I swear my brain took a hike because what came out of my mouth wasn’t what I was planning on saying.  It was what I was thinking yes, but my mouth decided to take charge.  I told her if I lost the bet I would pay the tab for wherever the doctor took her on their first date.  If I won, and here’s where my brain shut down and let my mouth run rampant,  I wanted to kiss her breathless while pinning her to a wall and fucking her senseless.  I couldn’t believe I’d said what I was thinking out loud and was braced for the slap I knew was coming.  What I got was the jerk calling me a low class thug who would never amount to anything and a shocked look from Aya.  It’s like her brain needed time to process what I’d said because after a minute she started to laugh, called me a kidder and asked what I really wanted.  I said that I wanted the jerk to pay for OUR first date and then I leaned down enough to whisper in her ear making sure I not only used my bedroom voice but that my warm breath would tickle the side of her neck, “before I get the other things that I asked for”.   I swear her whole body shivered and then she gave me a look that made me glad I was wearing loose fitting pants.  If the jerk had seen that look he would have called the match right there.  Oh she was up for the idea but I was gonna have to work for it.  Two and a half months later, the cane got hung up in the closet and we were dating.

Wanna hear something weird?  Despite all the flirting and the suggestive talk, we dated for a while and I hadn’t so much as done more then kiss her on the cheek.  For me to be that, I don’t know, timid was unheard of.  I guess I just didn’t want to rush things and mess something so important up.  I’d decided long ago or should I say discovered, that I was in love with this woman.  I also discovered that we came from two totally different worlds and while she had made forays into my world, I was clueless about hers.

Doctor Asshole was right in the sense that at one time I was what some people would call a thug.  Thug is to strong a word.  I think delinquent is much better suited to what I was growing  up.  I was never that good in school though I did get my high school diploma.  I think they gave it to me just to get rid of me.  I was a constant source of irritation to my parents but I never crossed the line into illegal activities.  I am, in every sense of the word, a speed freak and fast cars and motorcycles were my reason for living.  If I’m honest, it’s probably why I graduated.  I was better then my shop teacher when it came to motors and kept the schools aging…and most of the staffs…vehicles running.  What kept me in trouble with the authorities was racing.  By the time we’d left high school, Hayato and I had quite the rep.

Aya’s life was totally different.  Her parents weren’t rich but they were very comfortable.  She excelled in school.  That memory of hers helping in that.  It’s not quite photographic but close enough to be rather scary at times.  To say her life was sheltered would be an understatement…at least until she hit college.  Her life up until then hadn’t really prepared her for the real world of college.  She was away from home and a naive, cute little thing and young.  Too young to be on a college campus alone if you ask me.  It didn’t take long for her to be noticed by the jerks and jocks who tend to make “getting” a little thing like that a sport.   She started running with a different crowd, hanging out, doing a little drinking, checking out the clubs and learning about sex from her new boyfriend.

She was in love.  Turned out he was not.  Broke her heart but she kept her act together and kept her grades up.  How I don’t know.  Her class load was staggering but she swears that it helped her through that time.  Kept her mind off of the jerk and the baby she lost.  Yeah.  That’s how she found out how much in love he wasn’t.  He cut and ran when he found out she was pregnant.  Transferred to another school.   She was seventeen.  She couldn’t tell her folks.  She couldn’t bear disappointing them.  Add that stress and the stress of the amount of courses she was taking and something had to give.  Not only did she lose the baby but complications from that meant she couldn’t have any more.  It was then that she decided to go into nursing.   Why not become a doctor you ask?  She said because the nurses are the front line people.  The people you see everyday.  The ones who will be the listeners when a patient needs to talk.  The person who’s hand will be held when they cry.  Her doctors were too impersonal for her but the nurses, they were a different story.

How we managed to find some common ground is amazing.  That she was patient, understanding and instructive is a testimony to her character.  We taught each other things over the months that we dated.  I was a perfect gentleman and treated her like the lady she is.  No way did I want her to lump me in with that jerk from college.  She and Michiko had become good friends and Ichi adored her mainly because she spoiled the little brat.  Dad even liked her though he couldn’t figure out why she’d want to hang around with me.  We had been going out for about four months when things finally came to a head.

There had been a carnival in town.  I love the things so I took her and we had a blast.  We went early cause I was playing a gig at the bar later that night.  She’d never heard me play and took it upon herself to come see me.  I’d been on a cloud for weeks.  I was happy.  Happier then I’d been in forever.  I was practically singing when I made it to the bar that night.  The guys thought I’d lost it but they didn’t care.  Whatever had me in such a good mood was fine with them because my bass playing had improved a lot.  I turned the place out with my solo if I can pat my own self on the back.  The gig was awesome.  We had finished our set when I noticed that Aya was there.  I introduced her to the guys who whistled and made comments on why I was probably so happy.  Some of them made ME blush.  Aya gave me a strange look then proceeded to charm the hell out of the boys in the band.  We hung around for a while, had a little wine and then I offered to take Aya home since she’d caught a ride with a coworker who was staying.  She was quiet all the way to her place.  When we got there, she pretty much demanded that I come in.  I’d never been inside.  I usually saw her to the door and then left.  Perfect gentleman.  I guess maybe that thug comment hit a little to close to home.  Anyway she insisted that I come in so I did.

Her place was small, decorated with nice things and had touches of her and family everywhere.  It was decorated in western style thank goodness.  A sofa is easier to get on and off of then the floor with my knee.   She played the perfect hostess even if she was still quieter then normal.  After pouring us both a glass of some very good wine, I’d learned to drink and not guzzle it, she started fidgeting.   There was clearly something on her mind so I waited until she was ready to tell me what was up.  What she finally said put my heart in my shoe first then threatened to shoot it to the moon.

She said that since we were just friends, would I mind if she didn’t spend so much time with me.  She said she liked spending time with me a little too much and that she shouldn’t occupy so much of my time.  She said she wanted to see if she could find someone special since we were only friends.  She said that she had hoped that maybe I would think of her as someone special but she didn’t want to loose the best friend she’d ever had by pushing for something that I didn’t feel the same about.  When she looked up at me she had tears in her eyes.  I doubt if my expression was very reassuring because the tears started falling and she started apologizing for even saying anything.   It was just that she’d gotten the impression from others as well as my own actions that when I saw a lady I wanted, I jumped in full steam ahead but I’d never so much as kissed her anywhere but on the cheek despite all the flirting.  She said that she had been looking forward to my winning the bet to see if I really could kiss her breathless.  That since I’d never even tried to kiss her like that, I must only see her as a friend but she saw me as more.

She had her head down and the tears were still flowing as well as the apologies while I sat there and tried to push my heart back down into my chest where it belonged instead of it bursting over our heads in a shower of fireworks.  I would have jumped her bones on our first date if I hadn’t been trying to impress her so much.  Heaven only knows how many nights I spent with just my hand and her image to keep me sane.  Stupid me for not being me.  I must have taken too long to say anything because she had looked up at me while wiping away her tears and asked if I could kiss her just once before I left and that if I decided we couldn’t be friends any more because I’d be uncomfortable she’d understand.   So I did what she asked.  I kissed her.  I put all my love and my desire for her in that kiss and the other kisses she got before we pulled apart.  I pulled her to me in a hug and told her that a husband and wife who aren’t friends wouldn’t be together for long and that if she really wanted me to go I would but if she wanted me to stay she was gonna get pinned to every unmoving object I could find starting with the sofa we were on.

We spent the rest of the night seeing what we could and couldn’t have sex on and for the next three months or so, while we were planning the wedding, learned what buttons did what.  I swear that woman found buttons on me I never knew I had.  We were married right after Ichi turned three.  I gave her the signed papers making me the owner of the shop and she gave me papers making her owner of the flat above the shop.  The bank must have loved us.  And I must say while her folks don’t like me, they came through and gave her the money they’d saved for her “dowry” so she could put it down on the flat.  The rest is history.  I’ve never had an occasion where I have regretted meeting and marrying my wife.  Oh we’ve had bumps and bruises along the way but we love each other and that always won out over anything and everything else.


~ by jujuken on June 5, 2011.

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