Toshi’s gift

I was wrist deep in molding clay working on the cast for a custom piece I was doing when the phone rang. Aya answered it and said hello and a happy belated birthday to my friend Toshi. She put the phone on speaker and set it next to me then went back to planning the meals for the week. We were in the kitchen.

Me: “Moshi moshi! Happy belated old man! Did you get my gift?”

Toshi: “Yeah dude! I called to thank you.”

From the background comes a voice….”Tell him I’m gonna kick his scrawny ass the next time I see him.”

Toshi: “Did you hear that? Kiba says hello”.

Me: “Tell him I love him too and the day will never come when he can whip my scrawny ass.”

Aya: “Why is Kiba upset with Ju Toshi?”

Toshi: “I suspect it has something to do with my birthday gift.”

Me: *snickers* “So how much of it have you dismantled?”

Toshi: “Most of the bottom row.”

Me: “No wonder he wants to kick my ass. Damn dude. I’m not sure I could accomplish that feat.”

Toshi: “I’m very persuasive and good at what I do. The Merlot helped a lot too.”

Kiba: “I swear I’m gonna kick your ass. Don’t you know better then to encourage him? He’s bad enough on his own. Shit! I’m going back for another soak!”

Toshi: “You need some help with that? I’m gone dude. Time to work on the rest of that bottom row. Thanks again. Talk to you later.”

Aya hung up the phone and gave me a look.

Me: “Whaaat? *tries to look innocent and fails*

Aya: “What did you give Toshi for his birthday?”

Me: “A couple of bottles of Merlot I bought off of Atsushi.”

Aya: “And?”

Me: “I wrapped them in something special when I shipped it.”

Aya started tapping her foot. I sighed.

Me: “I wrapped it in a condom dress.”

Aya: “What?”

Me: “You know. A condom dress. Since Kiba likes wearing dresses I figured I’d give that to Toshi as a different kind of gift. I know he talked Kiba into wearing it. He’s currently trying to work his way through the whole dress but how is that my fault?”

Aya: “It’s your fault cause both of you are perverts. Wait. Where did you find a condom dress?”

Me: “Google…and I uhm…saw one in one of those yaoi magazines you like so much. I wasn’t trying to look at any. It just kind of fell off the shelf. So I searched on Google and found a place that actually sells them.”

Aya just cocked an eyebrow.

Me: “Honest!”

Aya: “Poor Kiba. You know he’s gonna kick someone’s ass when this is all said and done. Toshi might wish he’d left the dress alone. As for me….I’m going to see what other magazines are out of order on that shelf.”

Me: “Have fun baby.” *prays she doesn’t notice the missing one because it had some interesting toys in it, then thinks about it…Aya…looking through yaoi books which always gets her hot and bothered.* “Wait for me! I’ll help!” *washes his hands and goes to “help” with a lecherous grin on his face.*


~ by jujuken on September 14, 2012.

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