Whatever

The following is a conversation I as the mun had with Ju who is my bothersome muse.

Ju: We need to talk.

Me: Oh? About what?

Ju: I want out.

Me: Out? Out of where?

Ju: I want out of the closet.

Me: *blinks* You want to come out of the closet?

Ju: That’s what I said. I want to come out of the closet NOW!

Me: *blinks then smiles, turns to keyboard and starts typing the following:
Ju walked into the kitchen and wrapped his arms around his wife. “Baby? We need to talk. I have something to tell you. I’m gay…well bi. I’ve been happy having sex with you but I need some man action sometimes. I’m sorry.*

Ju: WHAT?! Wait! No! What the hell?

Me: *continues typing: Aya sits down in shock and says “That’s why my yaoi books are always out of order.”

Ju: *stops my typing then growls* That’s not what I meant!

Me: Hmm…Aya isn’t gonna want to share you with just anybody. Hey Aya? Turns out your hubby wants out of the closet. Who can we pair him with?

Aya: *smart woman that she is figures what’s up and plays along* Hmm. Not to many people I can tolerate. Toshi but Kiba would either leave him or gut him…probably both.

Ju: *covers his ass with his hands* You keep those perverts away from me because I AIN’T GAY!

Me: Hayato is hot but he’s straight, too young and his nephew.

Tomoka: What’s that about Hayato? *gets clued in by Aya then glares at Ju* He’s mine you old pervert and I don’t share. *turns and winks at Aya*

Me: *is falling out laughing*

Ichi: *comes in snickering having heard most of the conversation* Sorry Unca Ju but you are too flat up front and not my type at all. I’m a one woman man. *grabs Tomoka and tickles her before giving her a kiss on the cheek*

Toshi: You might be a good kisser but you ain’t got enough ass for me.

Ju: *blinks* Where the hell did you come from? And fuck you.

Me: He came out before you did.

Ju: *glares death daggers at me*

Me: You do know that with a few key strokes I could have you dressed in a pink tutu right?

Ju: You wouldn’t dare!

Me: *grins evilly and poises fingers above keyboard*

Ju: Alright! You win! Can I please come out and play in the light of day a little more? I don’t like being stuck in the closet so much.

Me: That’s better and I’ll see what I can do. In the mean time stfu in my head at night and be thankful you aren’t Toshi. He almost never gets out any more.

Toshi: True but I make the most of my time when I do. Still working on that dress. Yeah!

Me: *shakes head* I’m surrounded by perverts.

Ju, Aya, Toshi, Tomoka: But you created us!

Me: *snorts* So it’s my fault now?

Ju, Aya, Toshi, Tomoka: YES!

Me: You guys act like I make you do these things.

Ju, Aya, Toshi, Tomoka: *blink* You do.

Me: *starts to say something, thinks about it then shrugs* Point well taken. All of you. Back in the closet. I’ll let you out in turn now go. You bother me. *pushes them back in the closet and locks the door then snickers* But I didn’t say when I’d let you out! BWAHAHAHAHAAAAA! *goes back to watching new anime season*

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~ by jujuken on October 21, 2012.

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