Coming to grips.

So. I’m sitting here in front of my laptop trying to put to words what I’m feeling about this Toshi situation. He’s arguably my best friend and he’s getting married. No big deal you say. People do it all the time and that’s true. What people don’t do all the time is marry someone the same sex as they are. Yep. My friend Toshi is a guy who’s about to marry another guy.

I’ve been trying to come to grips with this since Aya told me. I mean I’ve known Toshi was bi-sexual for a long time and I know that he’s been in a relationship with his vocalist for years now but marriage? Hell just the fact that he IS getting married is mind boggling enough. I never pictured him as the type to settle down like that. When you add Kiba into the mix that just makes me think I’ve entered an episode of the twilight zone.

I mean. I want him to be happy. He’s my friend, my buddy, but this guy on guy thing…it still freaks me out. Aya is loving it. She’s a big yaoi fan and this is her dream of dreams. Me…I’m on the fence. I’m happy for Toshi but I’m freaked out too and right now I think the freaking out is winning. I’m repeating myself I know but I’m just well freaked out.

Aya just walked in and is reading over my shoulder. She tsked me and made me look at her. This is what she said.

“Ju, do you love me?” I nodded affirmative. “What would you do if someone had said we couldn’t marry because you’re more then five inches taller than I am? How would you feel?” I told her that you love who you love and that shouldn’t keep you from marrying. She said “exactly!” “Toshi loves Kiba and apparently Kiba loves Toshi. The fact that they are both male shouldn’t matter just like our differences in height shouldn’t matter. Marriage is about love and that’s ALL that should matter.” Then she gave me a kiss that made me want to follow her out of the room but she stopped me with a hand up and told me to think about things again.

So I did and I came to realize that I’d been thinking about it from a sexual stand point. That’s not what marriage is about. It’s about the love and commitment that two people have to and for one another. Once I got that straight in my head, the rest kind of fell into place.

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~ by jujuken on July 3, 2013.

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